February 27, 2006

• I guess I Xanga to explore my obsessions, whether they be of my idol James Dean, detailng the life and death of a short lived band, or my trials and tribulations for hurting someone and expressing my guilt and apologies. My Xanga itself has been an obsession, often being a daily thing to update.  More importantly, I Xanga to exercise my writing skills. to see if I can stir any emotion (so far none as there exists very few comments at the moment)  My goal is to start working on my own works of fiction by first presenting raw material of short pieces of fiction and see what response I get (my new year’s resolution).
  
  But more importantly Xanga has taught me a lesson in the power of the written word and how they can affect friendship both ways.  I quote the following from MEMOIRS OF A DUTIFUL DAUGHTER by Simone de Beauvoir.  (published by Harper Perennial Modern Classics, p. 18)
  
  “I could perceive the sinister effects of words only when their black magic clutched at my heart.”
  
   With my deepest respect of words I hold their meaning tightly and all their subtext as well.  It often gets me emotionally troubled sometimes and it forces me to curb my sensitivity a bit.  After being a “Xanganeer” for over a year, I learned  a valuable lesson, not only of the meaning but of the value of words to all people. When usurped by others, intentionally or otherwise, a snowball effect can occur for the worse.  Even when giving credit to someone, it must be given with great discretion.  The impulsive nature within often overshadows my intellect I know I possess but fear others doubt I have.  I XANGA simply to express whatever is in my head …

  
  

  anonymous 1.26.2006
  

  • 11:19 am
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